Yesterday, we sent our son off to “Outdoor School”; a week-long excursion that the local elementary school uses to take the fifth graders camping (and learning!).
After work, we picked our daughter up from her dance classes and took her out for dinner (OIP, FTW). Later we went home and helped her with her homework, brushed her hair, and tucked her into bed. All the while, The Wife and I were giving our daughter all of our attention. No distractions. No interruptions.
After we tucked our Little Lady into bed, The Wife says to me, “Geez, it’s true; the second child always gets gipped.”
I have always felt that, being a first-born child myself, that the second-born kid got all of the perks. For example, my little brother got to stay out until midnight when in high school, even though I had to be home by 10pm when I was in high school. His curfew was whatever MINE was, at the time, despite the fact that he was nearly three years younger than I.
Totally. Not. Fair.
But that’s what being a first-born was all about; I was the guinea pig for my parents. They tested parental theories out on me, and determined what would work, and what they could scrap for the second-born.
But my Wife has a great point here — the second child really gets gipped when it comes to quality time with the parents. Case-in-point, my son.
For the first three years of his life, my son got the full attention of both of his parents. We played with him (and him only), we read to him (a LOT), we bathed him, we doted on him. Enter the second-born child.
Oh sure, we doted on her too… for a little while. But, the first-born didn’t simply up and disappear, so our daughter was constantly competing with the Boy for our attention.
So there we were last evening, all alone with our daughter working on her homework. Giving her all of our attention. The Wife is absolutely correct when she says that our daughter got gipped, because she really did. Unfortunately, there is not much that a parent can do for a solution to this issue. When you have more than one child, this is a reality.
It’s akin to a game of basketball: when you have one kid, the parents play a zone defense — but when you have two kids it switches to a man-on-man (or a parent-on-kid) defense.